


Looking back

by GilliganGoodfellow



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, Child Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Survivor Guilt, Witcher Whump Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27109387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GilliganGoodfellow/pseuds/GilliganGoodfellow
Summary: “You remember your group?”“My group?”“The other kids?” Letho asks, quietly. “Ones that went into the trials with you?”-Nine children went into the trials. Only one came out.Letho is now an adult, but he hasn't forgotten.
Relationships: Eskel/Letho z Gulety | Letho of Gulet
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63
Collections: Witcher Whump Week 2020





	Looking back

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda wrote this in one evening after seeing the Witcher Whump Week 2020 prompts today, so it is a little rushed. Sorry. But enjoyed the challenge of a tight deadline, and also my first time writing Letho.

“You remember your group?”

The Witcher sits on the edge of the bed, his giant frame blocking the light from the window so that he is a shadow to Eskel as he lays on the bed behind him.

“My group?”

“The other kids?” Letho asks, quietly. “Ones that went into the trials with you?”

Eskel nods, even though Letho is looking away. “There were eight of us.”

“How many...”

“Six. Only me and Geralt made it through.”

Letho nods, slowly. 

“There were nine in my group. I’m the only one that made it.”

Eskel sighs, sitting up slowly and moving down the bed so that he can lean against the larger witcher’s back, arms circling him. 

“There was this one kid. Kind thing he was. Soft. Cared about others. They tried to beat it out of him, and that just made him better. He learned pain, and he knew he wanted to protect kids from it.” Letho looks down. “He’d have been a good Witcher. Made a good name for us.”

Eskel kisses his shoulder, and listens. 

“He was chained to the slab next to mine. And each time a mage walked past he would reach out. Just wanted someone to hold his hand. He was dying.” 

Eskel reaches out, taking Letho’s hand in his. 

“Mages ignored him. He was a sword being forged, not a child.”

Eskel closes his eyes.

“Remember him looking at me. And he looked at me and all I could do was look back. Screaming with him. Couldn’t look away even when he...”

Eskel nods.

“Eight children.” Letho tenses, his fist clenching in Eskel’s hand. “I ain’t worth eight lives. I ain’t worth _his._ ”

“Doesn’t work like that, Letho.” Eskel says against his skin. “It wasn’t a bargain, it was a battle, a trial. A trial you survived. And survival is _never_ a wrong thing.”

Letho shakes his head. 

"A trial." Letho says, bitterly. "Judged them not worthy. Judged _me_ worthy. That's a messed up trial."

"It's an injustice. Always has been." Eskel agrees, then he kisses Letho's skin again. "But you are worthy."

Letho shakes his head. 

“You're a hero.” Eskel whispers near his ear. “Stood to defend Kaer Morhen even though it meant nothing to you. Just because it was the right thing to do.”

“Needed a good fight.” Letho shrugs. “Besides, Vesemir was kind to me. Old Man didn’t deserve the way he went out.”

“He died protecting Ciri. He wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

“You miss him?”

“Every damn day.” Eskel kisses Lethos’s arm. “But you’re changing the subject.”

“Didn’t realise we had one.”

Letho sighs, fist opening and closing, the enlarged muscles of his arm moving under Eskel’s lips. Then the larger witcher stands, crossing his arms as he approaches the window. 

“Saw a kid in the street that looked like one of the kids in my group.” He chuckles, but it is a sad sound. “Even smiled like him. Like looking at a ghost.”

Eskel stands, slowly approaching Letho from behind. He turns the larger witcher around, resting a hand on his chest as he looks into his eyes.

“Why’d it choose me, Eskel?”

The question that every Witcher asks, at some point in their lives. 

_Why did destiny choose me to survive when so many children died in the trials?_

And Eskel wishes he had the answers, but he doesn’t know them yet for himself. 

So he rests his face in Letho’s chest, while the Witcher rests his own in Eskel’s crown, and they stand together, slowly turning in the room as if to dance to music only they can hear. 

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For looking back.” Eskel swallows. “When that boy was dying. You didn’t look away. You were there for him, even if you couldn’t hold his hand. He didn’t die alone. And they haven’t been forgotten. You still remember all eight of them.”

“And keep remembering them.” Letho nods, and they each tighten their embrace.

Eventually he steps back, holding Eskel’s shoulders. “Tell me about your group.”

The wolf smiles. “Joshua liked to sing. All the time. It was like he was allergic to silence. And Samuel...”


End file.
